I have had a crazy few weeks of highs and lows, chaos and fun as I have been hanging out my two little ones for the last 3 weeks over the daycare holiday break. Looking back now I have learnt some very big lessons. Coming out the other side I now feel a sense clarity as I look back and reflect, gaining insights and new ways of looking at the challenges I experienced as a mumme.
I also love the fact it’s a New Year, a brand new beginning, an opportunity to take with you and create more of what you want in 2016 and less of what does not serve you anymore. I am excited to see what 2016 has in store for us all! Like starting a new chapter in your favorite book, we have the power to create our own story, our own adventure! I am looking forward to finding balance this year between following my dreams and embracing mummehood whilst I allow life to unfold, trusting that it’s all flowing just the way it is meant to be.
Control and certainly in the life of a mumme is certainly out of reach sometimes. Plans change, kids get sick and mumme brain reigns long after the baby has arrived! It can all get a little too much at times and this is when I find I need to surrender my control to a higher power and take comfort in the fact that everything is working out just as it ought to be. Maybe not exactly how I had planned or hoped it would sometimes but how it was meant to be.
Since becoming a mumme I have definitely felt like my anxieties and fears/worries have increased, as I am now responsible for the wellbeing of two beautiful souls. Anxiety is in my family. I guess I can be susceptible to it and have suffered from anxiety in the past. Worrying and stress is also another family trait and on top of that I was born into a family of busy women, so naturally I adopted a busy mentality and way of life.
I am either worrying about the future and trying to make sure I make the right decisions for my family or I have been stuck in the past of guilt and questioning myself as to whether I have made the right decisions. What I do know now is that these worries of the past or future can rob me of my present moment. The magic moments I am wanting to create right NOW with my children. I have had to become quite aware as to what I allow my mind to focus on, trying to keep focus on where I am right now. It is a choice, just like a muscle that needs to be strengthened one moment at a time I continue to try and keep my awareness in the present moment. I do not know what the future holds but I do know that I want to be available in the NOW for my children. However life unfolds I trust that I am well equipped to deal with anything as life happens.
My mumme journey has also enabled me to really look at my life, who I am and what has influenced me throughout my upbringing and how can I best serve those I love. Mummehood seems to shine a light on your ‘stuff’, and bring up some of the baggage you may think was long gone.
I have tried my best to make a conscious effort and really question myself and dig a little deeper when I am triggered by my kids or in my life. I have tried to be curious and non judgmental so that I can then make conscious decisions as to how I want to live my life and how I want to bring up my children. What values do I want to teach them and how can I be the best example for them as they learn from watching me.
Trust has come up on several occasions. Trusting myself…that I have made the right decision. Trusting my instincts, that I know what is best for my children.
I have come to believe now that there is a bigger plan for my life. This belief has given me the trust that life is happening for me. When I hit a roadblock it is a sign (a red flag) to look within and ask myself is this what I really want and does it align with my truth. Is there a reason why it’s not working out the way I had planned? At this point I must trust and surrender to a higher power than myself. I now find myself looking at life in a different way. Allowing life to unfold (a very different life for me as I have always aimed to control and find certainty in my life) and what I have noticed is that when I step back a little and trust the flow of life, get out of my own way, and see life is happening for me, what unfolds is even better than I could have planned or organized myself.
SOME OF WHAT I HAVE LEARNT SO FAR…
Lessons/Tips/Insights/Truths…
TO REDESIGN & CREATE YOUR DREAM LIFE!
- You can only gain happiness through your heart not your head
- Fear is a detour that takes you off your path, it sabotages you and will keep you feeling stuck and paralyse you from taking action
- Feel the fear and do it anyway (a mantra my mother shared with me at a very young age)
- The secret to living is in giving…give without wanting in return
- If it feels good do it and if it doesn’t then let it go (I often use this tool with my children, as I can get swept up in what’s right and wrong and often it is due to my own conditioning. So my simple test is to ask myself does it feel good or not? I try to decide from my heart…the feeling I get, instead of figuring it out in my head (that tends to make me overthink it all, weight up options and exhaust the hell out of me…keeping me stuck and ultimately from trusting my own heartfelt decision!).
- NO is the answer and NO explantation is necessary (when you decline from something or choose not to do something for any reason you like, your NO is your reason, you do not have to justify your NO or explain it any further to anyone, it is self explanatory…end of story!)
- Learn to let go and trust that life is happening for you
- When you are challenged you will learn the most and grow exponentially
- Be curious like your child/ren & learn from their wonder of the world
- Hold watch at the door to your thoughts…what you think you create
- Leave some space in your day and let life unfold
- Trust that the universe/life has a bigger plan for you…and it can orchestrate it better than you could ever imagine!
- Look within to find the answers…(meditate/journal/be quite and listen)
- Allow your child/ren to be themselves and nurture their strengths…
- Pick your battles with your kids…learn to let go when necessary & tighten the reigns when required. Find your own non negotiables.
- Be yourself …be authentically you and let no one tell you different
- Nourish your body, mind and soul daily so that you can give to your child/ren from a place of abundance
- Take time to reflect and celebrate your wins…see how far you have come and acknowledge your success
- When challenges arise look within (tune in) and seek to find the answers and see the lessons that are knocking at your soul
- Take time to look at your life from above, without judgment…a bird’s eye view. See what’s working & what’s not, and then let go of what does not serve you anymore and create and put more energy into what you want
- Learn from those that have been there before. Find their shortcuts to success!
- Design your life one day at a time, one moment at a time and one decision one choice at a time. Be very clear about what you want and why you want it. (Write it down!) Focus on what is important and when you get off track guide yourself kindly back onto the path you desire and reflect on the lessons you have learnt.
- Rid yourself of perfection. It is the lowest standard and keeps you stuck, giving you plenty of excuses and sabotaging you from your dreams/desires. Get into action, take a leap of faith and aim for good enough…build momentum and make your dreams/desires your reality! You deserve the best!
- Follow your own unique path…follow every twist and turn of your unique colorful life!
- Sometimes you have to make some hard decisions to follow your truth…you have to speak up and get uncomfortable in order to grow and learn…and be seen!
- Love and laugh at yourself…don’t take life too seriously. Be grateful daily for the gifts in your life.
So now over to you…what lessons have you learnt since becoming a mumme?
As always please share the love with another mumme and join the mumme tree community at our Facebook page: mumme Tree.
Until next time…savor the precious moments you create as a mumme!
Love n life
Nina x
