Towards the end of last year I found my mind wondering to the ‘worst case’ scenarios. Wondering to a dark place where I felt like I was falling down a rabbit hole where bad thoughts were multiplying. I felt out of control and I struggled to see the light in this dark place. The more I focused on what was happening in my physical body at the time, the more it felt like my symptoms were getting worse and I was fearful that something horrible was wrong with me.
It was at this time I realized that I could not continue down this path anymore. I had to make some new choices and cultivate some new ways of being. It was in that moment I knew I had to choose a new path. I started to put my attention and focus towards what I really wanted and how I wanted to feel each day. I began to research and gather more information on how I could change my mind, stop these negative thought patterns and feelings of anxiety and fear. If my thoughts had the power to make me sick and worsen my bodily symptoms then they could also make me well and bring my body and mind back into a balanced state.
What I found out was my thoughts were making me sick and bringing on the ‘stress response’ increasing my cortisol levels that ultimately took my body into a state of adrenal fatigue where my body and mind were out of balance. I was focusing on what ‘could’ go wrong yet I had no concrete evidence that this was a certainty. I was placing my power outside of myself and I knew that the only way to heal was from within.
I do feel that once I became a mumme my fears in life increased. I feared for my children and their safety in this world. I was fearful about my health and if anything was to happen to me. I also felt a lot of fear and worry about what would happen if I was not around and would my children be ok without me. These worries, anxieties and fears grew and grew until one day I was sick and tired of my worries and fears that I had to put an end to the fears that were hijacking my head!
I realized I had to change the channel…change the frequency and tune into a different station, one that was going to support and serve my family and me. My perception was creating my world. I also realized that these thoughts were draining my battery(my energy source) and making me feel depleted and out of control of my headspace. I also felt at times I was missing out on really connecting with my children in the moment and I became really aware that time was passing me by.
This made me very curious and I searched for answers as to how I could work my mental muscle (mindset) and strengthen it so that it focused on what I wanted (not what I didn’t want) and had my best interests at heart. I searched for ways to help me focus my thoughts and energy on what I wanted and ways to get me back on track when my mind would wander down roads I’d rather not go.
I realized that I was in charge and I could chose and plant the seeds I wished to grow. I could flood my mind with uplifting material, positive stories and surround myself with inspiring people! During this time I also became very aware of my thoughts and started to journal them. Humans have around 70,000 thoughts a day and I had to learn let go of some of my limiting thoughts and place my energy and focus where I wanted my mind to go.
I had the power to be the gatekeeper of my mind. Only choosing and allowing the thoughts I wanted to fill my mind with to enter. Thoughts that were unwelcome could pass by without any attachment or judgment. This meant I had the power to choose my thoughts and then my feelings and thus my actions and behaviors and ultimately my experience in the world. I had the power to choose what I wanted to create and what I wanted to experience all because I could choose to keep (focus on) or delete a thought that crossed my mind.
The more I practiced this the more familiar it became and the process became embedded in my mind to the point that less thought and awareness was required. I also noticed that the thoughts drawn towards me were more empowering and unlimited thoughts and beliefs. I found my mind naturally moving towards what I was wanting to create as well as seeing what I was grateful for in any given moment. I also noticed I became very self-aware. Like I was watching myself at times and noticing all different parts of me, my thoughts, my feelings my reactions and my behaviors…my personality that is, my personal reality.
Once I became aware it was in this moment I had the power to change and create a NEW personal reality for myself. Just like pruning a tree I could remove the weeds/dead branches/unwanted parts (thoughts/feelings/behaviors)that were not supporting my soul (and mental clarity) and fertilize my garden encouraging new growth and sprout new connections (new thoughts/feelings/behaviors) that were in alignment with how I wanted to be.
I noticed my life shifting slowly in different ways. Challenges became chances to learn and grow and stretch myself. My interactions with my children became very intentional and I viewed my mumme role in a whole new way. I focused on lessons I wanted them to learn, values I wanted my children to have and every moment with them could become a learning opportunity. How I was ‘being’ during my interactions with my children could mirror to them how they could be. I also noticed that the more I focused and cultivated the beautiful states I wanted to feel from within the more I felt connected to my children and the less I felt like I was missing out on anything. It also generated a sense of abundance within me where I finally felt like I was enough…just me. Without having to add or subtract anything.
Now I am certainly not saying I am perfect nor that I get it right 100% of the time. I am human and have times when my learning’s go out the door and I choose to react to my kids. But, I am aware and once I notice myself steer off track I can gently guide myself back onto the path I am committed to.
TIPS TO CREATE A MUMME WELL…wellness from within!
2. BECOME SELF AWARE!
Create a strong inner world to empower you by becoming self-aware.
You have the power to create a strong inner world so that whatever is going on around you, your feet are anchored deeply into the ground.
You then have the power to move from reaction to living on purpose (choosing how you respond from a place of self awareness/mindfulness).
Get familiar with you…journal your thoughts, feelings, behaviors, reactions. Notice how you experience life, are there any patterns? Are you expecting changes to happen in your life when you are choosing the same thoughts/feeling/behaviors and reactions each day?
2. PLANT THE SEEDS…
Plant the seeds, remove the weeds (frequently/daily) and enjoy the fruits of your harvest!
After you become self aware…now write down how you want to feel daily? How do you want to experience life? What would it be like if you loved your job? Loved your life? Didn’t experience mumme guilt? Followed your life passion? Start to get creative and draw in and feel the emotions you want daily and how you want to experience life…imagine how you really want your life to be? What areas are you seeking changes in?
Fantasize and draw some inspiration from the areas that are really working in your life right now. Get a vision of how you want the challenging areas in your life to be and how you want to feel and experience these parts of your life.
3. GET LASER FOCUSED
FOCUS DAILY ON WHAT YOU WANT, HOW YOU WANT TO BE AND HOW YOU WANT TO EXPERIENCE LIFE (your thoughts, feelings, emotions, behaviors and actions)
Every morning remind yourself of the seeds you are committed to planting. See and feel your future and what you have created as if you are living it right now.
4. ADOPT AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE
Inject more Gratitude into your life (I know I keep saying this but I cant emphasize it enough). Get into a state of gratitude, as though what you hope for (TIP NUMBER 3), wish for has already come true and actualized.
5. BELIEVE, TRUST & KNOW THAT YOUR SEEDS WILL REAP HARVEST!
Believe you have all the resources you need within you now. Trust, believe and know that the seeds you have planted will become your new life experience…the life you have created.
Look out for the miracles (a change in your perception from fear to love) that occur, the synronicities/serendipities and coincidences that may appear and come to fruition. Become very observant and let life flow, let go of the reigns a little and allow some space and time for life to unfold. Also watch out for the ripple effect that the changes you make from within can have on other areas of your life. Document these changes and notice that you have caused this effect from within. Be very grateful for what you have created and the power you have harnessed from within!
As always I would love to hear from you! Please share your thoughts, experiences or insights on how your thoughts create your mumme world!
Until next time, keep planting the seeds you want to live your life by and weeding out anything that does not serve you as a mumme.
Love n life