Recently we sold our house and packed up our entire home, gathered up the kids and moved to stay with my sister for a week whilst we were in limbo (all our stuff was in storage) as we waited to move to our new home. So technically we moved twice in just over a week!
3 years ago this would have been something I would have resisted doing. I would have never chosen this outcome, going for the more ‘certain’ option with the least amount of moving parts.
That being said, moving is meant to be up there with one of life’s most stressful events HOWEVER this time it was different for me. I really embraced the change and the choice we had made to move and focused on the gift it could be for my family. I made the process all about letting go! Letting go of stuff we did not need, letting go of certainty and letting go of how I thought it ‘should’ be. I set aside my perfectionistic tendencies and embraced a ‘GOOD ENOUGH’ approach.
During the whole process it shone a light on what is most important in my life…what I really need and what I can do without. How the ‘stuff’ can get in the way, keeping you far too busy at the expense of what is most important in your life.
I came to realise that LESS is MORE! Having less clutter, toys, clothes, shoes, stuff …opened up SPACE and a sense of freedom for me. I have always liked the idea of living more simply and minimally and after having children I realised that I had to take constant action in decluttering and continually getting rid of stuff or else the stuff would take over!
I also became quite aware of how LESS is MORE in many other areas of life as a mumme. As well as realising once again the ‘stuff’ will never fill you up!
Here are some areas where you can embrace a LESS IS MORE approach to help rid yourself of the clutter and make space for what is most important to YOU.
Less words to my son, seeing as he probably only hears a few words I say when I am asking him to do something, Keeping it short and simple seems to be the best approach e.g., I need him to put his shoes on, I just say ‘shoes’. I may have to repeat myself a few times but I find using less words helps him hear me and makes me less frustrated as I don’t feel like I am lecturing him!
Less plans…opening up some space to be spontaneous or go with the flow of the day. I know stuff needs to get done but if you schedule some free time and try not to fill it with anything you can feel a sense of freedom from your ‘to do list’ and from the busyness of life as a mumme. If you don’t take charge of your time the ‘stuff’ can get in the way…yes the weeds automatically grow!
LESS STUFF MORE TIME MORE ENERGY MORE ROOM…more room for what you want. I have found during our move my children seem to be calmer and happier with less stuff around them. The less toys they have the less decisions they need to make and it’s easier to choose what they would like to play with. They seem less overwhelmed when there is less around them to clutter their mind.
LESS CLUTTER MORE ORGANISATION…now I’m not saying less chaos because as a mumme that just comes with the territory. Things can get chaotic BUT you can help yourself by being organised and removing the clutter from your home. A clutter free home can help you when times get chaotic and help you know where things are when you need them helping to restore a sense of balance in your home and in your head!
LESS expectations…when you live in a world of expectation you are setting yourself up for disappointment as it may not turn out the way you hoped it to. Be open to letting things unfold and see life working for you. See the gifts in your life & embrace uncertainty, letting things flow.
LESS GUILT MORE SELF LOVE/COMPASSION- most mums feel guilty on a daily basis. Whether they ‘perceived’ they did something wrong or they ‘feel’ they have done something wrong or ‘failed’ to do something, it can really eat you up inside! As mums we need to say No, I will not partake in this kind of self torture anymore. It doesn’t do anyone any good and can lead to self loathing and feelings of unworthiness. When guilt knocks at your door (just like any other uninvited visitor) say thank you for visiting but you are not welcome in my home. Full stop. Then give yourself some compassion and love. We are human after all and not perfect so there is room to learn from our experiences/challenges but no room to beat yourself up about it.
LESS YES MORE NO…self explanatory…If you don’t love it, want to do it, say NO from the get go! No regrets no guilt no questions.
LESS WORRY MORE life is happening for me…embrace this kind of philosophy and let life roll. See the beauty and the gift in the most challenging times or the most ordinary of times.
LESS OVERWHELM MORE FOCUS ON WHAT YOU WANT (not what I can’t control) What is your family vision? The vision for your home? What kind of atmosphere are you trying to create for your family? Write a list of areas you want to focus on, e.g., family time/mumME time? Then list some themes/ideas/feelings you want to create in these areas/activities you want to do etc
LESS PERFECT MORE GOOD ENOUGH- trying to be perfect is a waste of time, a standard you can never achieve. It also keeps you in procrastination mode, keeping you stuck and gets in the way of what you really want and desire. I have struggled with perfectionism but I have learnt to make a conscious choice to not let it take control of my life. It can halt your progress and growth. I realised that my drive towards perfection was really my fear of failure of not getting it right or not succeeding. So I now try not get caught in the trap of it all, knowing I may be fearful but I will do it anyway as I move towards pursuing my dreams.
LESS FEAR MORE GRATITUDE…as I have said before you cannot feel fear when you are grateful. Fear cannot exist. Push past the fear that is holding you back from the life you deserve. Be brave and be bold, For there is “none alive that is youer than you” Dr Seuss.
LESS THOUGHTS OF SCARCITY MORE THOUGHTS THERE’S MORE THAN ENOUGH TO GO AROUND…change your mindset and your limiting beliefs. You are already wealthy is so many ways. Tap into your own inner resources and know that you are deserving of a wealthy and rich life.
LESS searching for more and more (as more will never be enough) and more trusting your gut instinct/your intuition…a mother’s intuition is a gift, so use the gift you have been given. Trust yourself and look inward as you have all the answers within you just need to be still, quiet and listen.
LESS THINKING MORE ACTION…taking steps each day that align with what you want and what you are wanting to achieve.
LESS TRYING TO FIGURE IT ALL OUT ON YOUR OWN AND MORE ASKING FOR HELP/LEARNING FROM OTHERS/FINDING A MENTOR/COACH THAT HAS ALREADY BEEN THERE BEFORE…learn from others that have succeeded in areas you want to succeed in or make progress in. Find out their strategies, the steps to take to get from where you are to where you want to be in a lot less time (if you had to figure it all out by yourself).
LESS DWELLING ON THE PAST MORE PRESENCE IN THE NOW…being in the moment, being mindful and available in the here and now. Ground yourself in the Now, take your shoes off and feel the ground beneath you. Soak up every moment right NOW.
LESS DISTRACTION MORE FOCUS…if you focus on what you want your energy will flow and pull you in the direction of what you are wanting to achieve. Stop distracting behaviours that take you away from what is most important in your life.
3 KEY QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF in order to free yourself from the stuff (PHYSICAL/MENTAL/EMOTIONAL CLUTTER) & create the life you desire!
1. Do you LOVE it? If you don’t love it or if it does not enhance your life TOSS it! OR give it to someone else in need. GIVE THE GIFT OF GIVING!
2. DO YOU REALLY WANT IT/NEED IT/WANT TO DO IT/NEED TO DO IT? SAY NO when you want to and don’t feel guilty about it. Don’t commit to things that do not make your heart sing. Spend time doing what you love and what brings you joy and happiness. Anything else is a waste of your precious time.
3. What kind of life/environment/feeling am I trying to create? WHAT IS YOUR VISION? A major key to unlocking yourself when you get stuck or hit a roadblock is knowing what you want. What kind of life are you trying to create? Align your choices with what you are trying to create and your decisions/saying NO will become easier as you are only allowing into your space that which aligns with what you want.
I hope one of these tips/insights has ignited something within you and will help you on your mumme journey. Remember baby steps…small changes each and every day and be kind to you. Don’t forget to reflect and check in with yourself each week. See how far you have come and celebrate your wins!
Don’t forget to have your say…share your thoughts/tips/stories of how you deal with the stuff the chaos and the clutter as a mumme!
Please share the love with another mumme and invite them to join the mumme Tree community so we can enjoy this crazy mumme ride together!
Love n life
Nina
x
