Nourish. Grow. Nurture. Thrive.
Before having children my life was relatively predictable. I could steer my life in any direction I chose. Sure I had my ups and downs, but I guess in the grand scheme of things I was only responsible for myself and the world around ME.
Fast forward to now and life has certainly changed in many different ways both around me and within me. I have experienced the highs and lows of motherhood and the greatest love, sense of responsibility and vulnerability that can go along with the territory. It is no longer just about my solo journey but about our family and the adventures we experience together. I still follow my truth as I navigate my way around the craziness and awesomeness of being a mother. The array of emotions that can surface on a daily basis can send my head into a spin sometimes so, I try my very best to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground no matter what life has in store for me and my little family.
One truth I do know is that life is uncertain…and the life as I know it (my physical being) will come to an end at some point on planet earth. As much as we don’t like to think about it, it is a fact of life.
For me, once I became a mother and held my newborn baby in my arms for the very first time, this rang true. Being part of the creation of a new life awakened so much inside of me and I experienced a heightened sense of mortality. I had never felt so much love, joy and vulnerability all rolled in one. I feel like motherhood exposed me to the profoundness & uncertainty of life. It has shined a light in so many areas of my life…the good, the bad and the ugly. I have learnt so many things about myself and what matters most. As a mumme you juggle many different roles and responsibilities whilst riding the roller coaster of life. It is certainly the most amazing and challenging journey of my life and I wouldn’t want it any other way.
I have encountered many struggles along the way, mostly my inner world challenging the status quo. As I was well aware, my baby did not come with a manual. I had read many books and tried many routines but I really struggled to get it ‘right’ the first time…and along the journey I think I lost a little part of me. The part that knew what was best for my baby, the whisper in my ear, the sense of knowing what was right. I tried my best but I kept ignoring my intuition. I wanted it to be different to what it was…I wanted my baby to sleep, self settle and not wake up every 30 minutes.
Oh, what I would have given for my baby to have slept well. Everyone around me seemed to have it easier than I. Their baby slept well…sometimes a good 3 hour afternoon nap! Sometimes this kind of information was best unsaid cause I continued to battle to get my little man to sleep and compared what I was going through to other mumme’s experiences.
Time passed and things did change and settle in a way. I would lay down in my son’s room whilst he napped and meditate to relax. This seemed to help him ride from one sleep cycle to the next instead of him just screaming when he woke. I really feel at this incredible time of my life I was giving my power away and letting everything out of my control consume and frustrate me. I came to realise that it didn’t really matter what was happening around me, or what everyone else was doing. I had to anchor myself and stay grounded no matter what obstacles life had in stall for me. Once I changed my mental map, and stopped letting everything outside of me impact on my inner world, I then had freedom to chose how I would respond…this gave me power, certainty and strength to move forward. Once I let go of how I wanted my son to be (or for him to fit a certain kind of routine) I was able to stay in the moment and really enjoy the ride, no matter what he was or wasn’t doing. Plus I focused on what I was grateful for instead of what was missing and this changed my complete outlook.
So how can we find a sense of certainty in uncertainty? I like to use the analogy of a tree…with a firm base/foundation anchored deep into the soil and branches that sway from side to side, you can weather any storm or any uncertainty (danger, doubt, dilemma) and stay firmly grounded in mother earth. I believe the key to certainty is nurturing YOU. Looking after yourself both physically, mentally and spiritually. Being grateful and focusing on what you want in your life not what you don’t have and knowing you having a choice in any given moment on how you want your world to be.
As mumme’s we all experience uncertainty in our daily life…we are human. The most orchestrated (finely tuned) plans can go pear shaped and send you into a state of uncertainty. I’m sure this strikes a cord with every mumme. The days when it feels like nothing will go to plan and you just have to surrender to it all and not get attached to how you want it to be. This is a massive lesson on a steep learning curve! So if you get off track (plans change) all you need to do is put your focus back on what you are trying to achieve and take a different route to get there.
Once I had my second child my semi-controlled life looked very different and ‘letting go’ became my daily mantra. It makes me giggle to look back at the crazy days, where just when you think things couldn’t get any worse something happens and you are taken down to another level where you have only one choice…sink or swim and of course we swim and wonder how the hell we got through it!
By no means am I taking away the awesomeness of being a mumme and the great joy it brings to your life but, we all can struggle at times…we are all the same deep down inside.
In knowing that life is uncertain, plans changes, life happens…we have a CHOICE in every situation/scenario/moment of how we will react and how we will show up. This CHOICE is our certainty. You choose to see the glass half full and be grateful for your blessings…and you will manifest so many amazing things into your life.
Or, you choose to see the glass hall empty and life unfair, happening to you, not enough, and you will attract and manifest this pattern into your life, and never feel enough. And you might just miss seeing the amazing things happening right in front of you.
Sure there will be days where I may steer off course but being aware in these moments will give me power to choose a different outcome or know better for next time.
This mothering journey might feel like a solo one at times but we are all living parallel lives. Trying to do our very best to raise these little people the best we can in a busy world. Our children are a mirror to our own inner world, and I believe you can learn your greatest lessons and experience the greatest love being a mumme.
We are powerful awesome mumme’s doing the most important job on the planet. My intention is to be that shining light for my little ones, a constant source of love and light, guiding them, supporting them and showing them how amazing they are each and every day, exactly the way they are. If I can be that solid foundation for my children, providing a nurturing and happy home, being the example for them to follow…so that they can grow up feeling whole, loved no matter who they are…I know that they will also go forth into the world of uncertainty with a strong sense of knowing who they are and what they have to give to the world.
Remember sharing is caring so please post your own stories of how you manage with the uncertainty of life with children and how you rise above whatever crosses your path. What is one big lesson you have learnt along your mumme journey?
Keep posted for my next blog filled with mumme tips to nourish your mind, body & spirit..without needing more time, money or sleep!
love n life
Nina x
