The adventures of every mumme are unique. But, weaved into our own unique journey are some common threads that join us all together. Whenever I chat to another mumme about my challenges and personal struggles as a mumme, there seems to be a sense of knowing exactly how I feel. As mumme’s we can all feel the emotional rollercoaster at times and get swept away with some less than favorable feelings that create unhappy states within.
A mumme’s journey is like a rainbow of emotions and feelings. There are definitely some amazing highs…humorous moments, fun, crazy, chaotic, peaceful and loving heart melting moments. And then there are the lows…frustrating, angry and ‘can it get any crazier!?’ moments that can really test you, or possibly at times just make you laugh! With the good feelings and emotions come the less loving emotions, feelings and thoughts. It is like a colorful human tapestry bound together with love.
I remember when I was pregnant with my son and I was doing my calm birth course. I would practice and visualize riding the wave of a contraction. I certainly had no idea what they would feel like but I knew that it would have a beginning and an end. That the contraction would grow in intensity, build to a peak and then lessen in intensity and continue this cycle until my baby was ready to arrive.
Just like contractions, emotions are like waves…they can roll in and rise quickly (sometimes when we least expect them), hit a peak of intensity and roll back down. The more mindful we can be of our emotional state and breathe through it, the quicker the wave can crash, (feelings lower in intensity and dissipate) and flow straight back to the shore, feeling a state of calm once again. This is where mindfulness of the breath can anchor you in the present moment and give you the power to choose your next step/move/focus from a place of awareness, taking you out of reaction mode.
The first step to making any change in life and living on purpose (moving away form reactive behaviors and towards purpose/mindful driven actions) is to become self-aware. Awareness offers you the key to unlock the automatic programs our mind can be enslaved to. It is from the state of awareness that you then have the power to create your life the way you want it to be and the emotional states (love, joy, gratitude etc.) you wish to cultivate within you.
Over my last 5 years as a mumme I have been trying my best to strengthen my mindset muscle. I believe that having a ‘winning’ mindset, as a mumme is a game changer. It has given me a higher perspective when challenges arise and ultimately has changed the way I think, feel, behave and act with my kids. When I get myself worked up and in challenging emotional states with my kids and I feel like I can’t cope, I stop, breathe and take a few steps back. The main question I ask myself is ‘what am I trying to teach my children?’ And ‘how do I need to show up for them in this moment?’ There are times when this way is certainly hard to action (and today was one of those days), especially if I’m tired, stressed and just over it all. But more often than not I try my best to be mindful and aware. I may not get it right all the time but I am learning.
Here is a self-reflection of SOME of my mumME days.
Some days…
There are some days where my life barely resembles the life that once was mine…yet other days I see glimpses of my old life, my old self not far behind.
Some days I question whether I am built to be a mumme, strong enough to deal with the challenges and in some moments it can be so hard to hold back the tears. They flow down and release the stress and overwhelm I feel. But it doesn’t take too long to see the sunshine once again. See a smile standing right before me that brightens up my world.
Some days my emotions can get the better of me where I can react and get frustrated at whatever may be…yet other days I am very aware and keep my cool and things don’t seem to phase me.
Some days feel dysfunctional and no matter how hard I try to keep a peaceful and happy home, it can seem so far out of reach. Kids are fighting and things are spiraling out of my control. I feel stuck inside with nowhere to hide and I dream of a new place to live.
Some days the messiness of it all can really challenge me…and the chaos and mess that surrounds me (the never ending washing/piles of dishes) takes away my peace of mind, making it impossible to think clearly, say the right words (I mean breakfast, I say lunch) or even the right name (I say Jakob I mean Kira)! It feels like my head has been hijacked!
Other days can flow and it feels like I am on top of the world and I’m making progress but some days can feel like life comes crashing down on me, my kids won’t stop fighting, aren’t listening and it feel like life spirals out of control again.
Some days I want no responsibility, complete freedom to do what I want when I want…to enjoy my time and my own personal space, to be able to feed JUST ME and make it ALL ABOUT ME (just this once). But as these thoughts roll by my focus naturally heads back to my little ones. I see their cheeky grins and all I want to do is hold them tight, slow down time and never let them go.
Some days I feel all alone, like I am on my own secluded island far away. Old thoughts enter my head and try and sabotage me…e.g., ‘my children aren’t normal!’, ‘I have already screwed them up!’, ‘why are MY kids SO challenging?!’ and I enter another loop and question ‘why I ever had kids!’…’no one told me it was going to be this hard!’.
But just like a rainbow that can appear after a storm. Or the butterfly that is born from its cocoon, as the seasons change so to do my thoughts and I see the pot of gold right before me.
But thankfully some days are not every day and with the challenges come the rewards and the unexpected moments where the clouds are forced to clear and make space for the rainbow to appear.
To watch your child at play and see such joy. To hear them say ‘I love you mumme’ oh what a joy! To feel them close,. to kiss and hug. To watch them grow and learn and love.
For the clouds can roll in some days but I try my best to see, the rays of sunlight that peek out past and brighten up my day. For I know my children are growing up way too fast right before my eyes and I have the power to let them know each and every day, the miracle that they truly are and the gift they give to me.
NOW over to you! I would LOVE to hear about SOME of your mumME days…
What are your highs and lows and what rainbows appear in your life when the clouds disappear?
Till next time…KEEP noticing the rays of sunlight that peek out in your own life!
Love n life
Nina x
